“They were punished for crimes against Islam and the Ummah”

It is late at night in the latter part of the 21st Century. The Caliph of the Muslims is taking his nightly walk along the streets of the Caliphate accompanied by his young advisor to ensure all is well with the citizens of the state. The Caliph’s advisor is keen to pick up on their previous discussions on a range of issues such as life in the west and the state of the Muslim world prior to the Caliphate.

Advisor: What happened to the tyrannical rulers of the Muslim world after the Caliphate was established. Did they receive justice for their years of oppression and brutality towards the Ummah?

Caliph: Well, not all of them were brought to justice. Many fled and ran away as the Ummah in the early 21st Century started to rise up and demand change. Many were brought to trial. Their list of crimes was long and the evidence against them was overwhelming.

Advisor: Did the Caliphate put a lot of effort into capturing the former leaders? After all, it was they who held the Ummah back for decades.   

Caliph: It did but don’t forget that those who escaped the Caliphate’s clutches will be punished in the Hereafter. Of the rulers that the Caliphate did pursue in the early years I heard the following story:

[Three of the former tyrannical leaders of the countries of Pakistan, Uzbekistan and Syria are meeting together in secret and under the cover of darkness; they have fled their countries since the Caliphate was established and have regrouped to plot their next moves. Huddled together to keep warm in a derelict part of a major city; far away from trappings of comfort and luxury they previously enjoyed]

Zardari: Our time is well and truly up. What are we to do? The masses who we ruled over have chosen Islam and the Caliphate. We hated them and they hated us more, we have no-where to go. Our political masters have left us to fend for ourselves.

Karimov: Yes that is true, but you did very well out of your years of looting and corruption in Pakistan. What is it the Muslims of Pakistan used to say about you? A palace in every country, millions in the bank you and your cronies did very well.

[At that moment Bashar Al Asad comes into the conversation; furiously flicking through a well-used copy of a manual called ‘The US guide book for western backed dictators and despots’, 2nd edition]

Asad: This is no good. I have read this cover to cover a thousand times but there is no chapter on what to do when the Muslims have rejected you; when the army have given their allegiance to someone else, when even the thugs and gangsters I funded for years no longer respond. How can I ever get back to rule again?

Karimov: I never read the guide book although I was given a copy after I helped the USA in 2001 in granting them use of a military base in Uzbekistan for their invasion of Afghanistan.

Asad: Never read the book? I didn’t know you could even read! Didn’t you used just look at the pictures; particularly the images of torture techniques used against your opponents described inside. I guess the chapter on torturing Muslims and how to boil people alive who oppose you didn’t come with many words.

Karimov: Look here, I ruled my country with an iron fist; no opposition was tolerated; no demonstrations, no challenge. I was not going to allow anyone to replace me. I hounded these people calling for a Caliphate in my country for years. Remember the massacres in Andijan. That was me.

Asad: Alas, I tried to follow that way during Syria ’s uprisings in 2011 and 2012 and the oppression of my father. I tried bombing civilians, killing women and children all over Syria to deter the uprisings but to no avail. The people would not relent and kept demanding Islam.

Zardari: I too tried to read the US guide book many times, but in the latter years with load shedding throughout Pakistan I couldn’t even do that! Actually, I only had the first edition. I never received the 2nd edition of the ‘US guide book guide for dictators and despots’. How come I never got the updated, second edition?

Asad: Never mind, it seems the US didn’t need you much anyway. Why send you the guide book when US officials and mercenaries could have just as easily given you an update in person. Maybe they found someone else to deal with, you know, like the army generals?

Zardari: That’s outrageous. I was forever always flying over to see the Americans to ask them what more that I could do for them.

Karimov: Yes, yes but how are we going to get out of here. I don’t want to end up in a sewer like our old friend Gaddafi or hiding in a hole waiting to be found like Saddam and see our Western masters abandon us.

Asad: It won’t happen to me. I’m sure the West will give me some form of immunity and protection from the Caliphate’s laws. I was a loyal and faithful servant of theirs for many years. Helping them in their war in Iraq; leaving Israel unchecked to attack Palestinians and confiscate land, suppressing Muslim activists.

Karimov: No way, I was much more subservient than you. I gave the US access to the wealth and resources of Central Asia. I was the best at preventing Islamic groups from doing their dawah. I would round up and imprison anyone calling for the Caliphate. My forces were the most brutal without a doubt.

Zardari: That’s nothing I was far more subservient and loyal to the US than all of you put together. I let US forces roam around my country unhindered; allowed them to kidnap Pakistani citizens; granted them safe passage to kill Muslims in Afghanistan; hoarded my looted wealth in western banks…..I could go on and on.

[Asad, Zardari, Karimov-all talking at once over one another] No, No I was the most loyal.  I deserve to be saved, I was the most pro-western. The West must save me, not you.

Advisor: So what happened to them?

Caliph: Apparently, the arguments went on for hours before they were eventually captured by the forces of the Caliphate.

Caliph: The trials of the former rulers showed the long list of crimes committed for decades against Muslims and their hatred for Islam. The judgement given to them was swift and decisive. They were punished for their crimes against Islam and the Ummah.

Advisor: I read that the Caliphate was asked to arbitrate for other countries as well.

Caliph: You are talking about the Caliphate being used to administer justice in other parts of the world. Prior to the Caliphate, there was nobody with the respect to truly resolve disputes between nations or redress crimes committed by the major powers in the international arena.

Advisor: I learnt in school that there were these organisations such as the UN, International Criminal Court and International Court of Justice.

Caliph: There were, but justice was selective and they were tied to the major western powers. They had no credibility.

Advisor: So how did the Caliph of the time come to be involved?

Caliph: After the trial and punishment of the former rulers and their associates proved so successful, other nations from around the world put forward their own leaders to go on trial.

Advisor: That’s extraordinary, even though they did not believe in Islam or Shari’ah. Quite different from the times when Muslim countries would refer to international institutions to solve our own affairs.

Caliph: Yes, nations from around the world such as Africa and South America were looking for justice for the oppression they too had suffered at the hands of their corrupt rulers or western nations. You have to remember the situation in the world in the early part of the 21st Century. So, the Caliphate set up a court to expose the crimes of Capitalism and many western rulers were brought to trial. The first ones were George W Bush and Tony Blair for their invasions of Iraq and Afghanistan. In later years, many other former US Presidents were brought there like Hilary Clinton and Justin Bieber!

Advisor: What was the court of justice called?

 Caliph: To the rest of the world it was known as the ADIL court. Its official title was the “Islamic Court for the preservation of justice, truthfulness and steadfastness”. It was a voluntary body, no-one was compelled to attend but such was the reputation of the Caliphate for fairness and justice that it had a powerful effect in bringing others to it.

Advisor: What kind of issues did it settle?

Caliph: Disputes over territories; or where oppressive rulers in the West had evaded justice within their own countries. Many poorer countries asked the ADIL court to step in because they knew the Caliphate would judge by a single standard that their own constitutions and justice systems couldn’t. It was also able to facilitate justice for historical injustices committed by western colonialism; reparations for the native Red Indians and Aborigines, that sort of thing.

Advisor: It should have asked for money from Britain and France for destroying the Uthmani Caliphate in 1924 and carving up the Muslim world with despotic rulers.

Caliph: Funny you should ask that. It was the first case to be heard. But those countries were virtually bankrupt by then!

Advisor: Any tough disputes that required a lot of work?

Caliph: The result of the Great War for UK Independence in 2018 was difficult; particularly when Wales and Scotland ganged up to invade England!

At the end of their walk, a telephone call is received from some obscure country asking for mediation in its internal political affairs.

Caliph: It’s from the USA. They have just had their Presidential elections and it appears there is a tied vote.

Advisor: The Democrats and the Republicans?

Caliph: They’re not called that anymore; they are now the McDonalds and Pepsi Cola parties. Neither of the two parties can agree on a winner. We need to reconvene the ADIL court.